Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine #9--featuring my story "The Hereafter Party"-- is LIVE!!!!

Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine #9 (epub/Kindle)
Which should Holmes shoot first--the spectral were-hound, or that peasant blouse missing its front???

Chickens!!! The long-awaited publication of SHMM #9--featuring my story, "The Hereafter Party"--has occurred! It's available now!! In both print and digital formats!!! Gaze upon its gorgeous cover above!!!!!!!!

You may notice (as did I) that my name does not appear on the cover. I have no explanation for this. BUT, my story is indeed inside--I promise!!!

If you'd like to learn more about "The Hereafter Party's" origin story, please click on "The Next Big Thing," my self-interview chain-post about my then-upcoming SHMM piece. If you'd like to read the story itself--right now!--it's available in both print and e-pub/Kindle formats here at Wildside Press, and you may also find it in print (and write a review!) here at Amazon.

I am very excited to see this story in print--and in such a pedigreed publication! I DO hope you'll give it a look; it's quite entertaining.

Well, I must go now in order to seek out my fainting couch, since it's been much the eventful day--what with the surprise of receiving my SHMM contributor copies in the mail this afternoon and all...

Sunday, June 2, 2013

I Always Think About the Dropped Groceries...Do You?

(Crash) "The aliens landed WHERE??! / WHO'S in the hospital??! / I won a WHAT???"

There is a trope I've noticed in both film and literature over the years, where startling news is told to someone holding a full, brown paper grocery bag (usually in their driveway, or on their front porch) which is inevitably dropped, and the resulting mess is completely forgotten in order for this person to sob/scream/run from the zombies. I assume this is supposed to be fully understandable in the moment, but I've never been completely convinced. I realize it's just storytelling shorthand: for a character to be SO SHOCKED by a piece of news that he-or-she drops what they're holding--well, that is some serious effin' news. However, this device always brings me out of the story, just like seeing a pair of lovers emerge from bed in the morning wearing underwear after a night of heedless sex breaks the Third Wall. There is something disingenuous about a film or book character--often one who is not wealthy--dropping what amounts to $60-80 on the ground ('cos it's always milk & eggs & orange juice, plus a few items in glass jars, then loose leafy greens and a whole uncooked chicken) and not looking back or commenting on the grocery carnage before moving on with the story. I myself have thankfully never been approached with devastating news while holding groceries, but I do have insight as to the morning-after-underwear issue (although we shan't go into that here).

 One of my very favorite moments of the delightful Janeane Garofalo film "The Truth About Cats & Dogs" is when her character, veterinarian Abby Barnes, faced with a surprise stressful visitor/situation at home, responds by grabbing a hairbrush and running it through her hair for a few beats while she thinks of what to do next. Almost exactly ten years ago, I did much the same thing when a fire broke out in my apartment building--in the middle of the night, I opened my front door to a wall of black curling smoke, then absent-mindedly brushed my hair while weighing my escape options. It was a ridiculous thing to do, but I was faced with either braving the black smoke of my apartment hallway or jumping out of my third-floor window onto the parking garage roof below and hoping I didn't break one or more legs in the process.To go--within the space of two minutes--from being sound asleep to possibly dying years before my parents was a bit much for my delicate mind, and the hairbrush was handily in reach. I ended up crawling out into that black hallway smoke, and down the nearby stairs to the lobby and safety. Well, then I was homeless for a week, but that's another blog post...

What I'm trying to convey is that I would love--LOVE--for a film/book character to put the groceries safely down--or even neatly away!--before losing it over whatever news they've received. Because that just seems more real--you'd be in denial for a minute or two after terrible news, so putting the groceries down/away would be the most natural thing in the world. I will always consider THAT the more realistic response, rather than dropping everything and running. And don't get me started on characters who lose their appetite upon hearing bad news, that's a whole other blog post....

Am I the only one who's noticed the dropped groceries thing?? Or have any of you readers, as well? Write in, comment, SHARE!!!